from riches to rags

shucks....i've never felt soooo poor in my entire life.i'm down to the very last 100 peso bill in my wallet.well,at least i'm P100 richer than everybody else but it doesnt feel good.

camwhoring

blogger account

wala lang.walang ma-post.there are a lot of thoughts in my mind.too many things to write,too little time.i just missed posting through blogger since IT dept blocked blogger.thank God there's flickr and photobucket.

girls rule

have u ever wished u were a boy and not a girl?when i was younger, i used to think how it's like to be a boy.i kept on wondering what it's like to be one and i once wished i was a BOY.i thought there could have been a lot things i could do if only i was a boy.let me enumerate.

• could play outside without having to worry if your clothes get dirty or torn
  
• could go out of the house anytime
• don't have to be the bantay-bahay when the "so-called-soldiers" go out in the field and fight.
• could join fistfights
  
• could choose who to court and choose the one you really like
• get an excuse to be naughty at times
• can play,play and play
• don't have to wear skirts when hearing mass(this was before)
• don't have to suffer dysmenorrhea
• don't have to go through the pain of giving birth
• could be the boss
• you don't have to hide everytime you'd feel like going to the restroom just to pee
• because masculinity means bravery

as you can see my reasons were so babaw lang.years have passed and gone were those days of envy.i've gotten over it.it's fun being a girl.and there are a lot things to be happy about.

• being a girl doesnt mean you can't play,play and play.
• i still had the chance to play (from jolen,rubber bands to hide-and-seek etc. etc)
• girl talk is fun and we understand each other without having to explain stuff
• you can wear guys clothes.(If guys wear ours, they get funny looks)
• can avoid the whole circumcision thing
• slumber party rocks the house and it's so much fun.
• we get to have a chance to bear a child
• being a mother is a mystery
  
• we are brave in so many ways
  
• it's not weird if a girl uses a guys first name (like joey or alex).it sounds cool.
• it is ladies first and not women first(read as:we men first)
  
• we get free chocolates and flowers from guys
• we can take stuffed animals to bed no matter how old we are
• we can cry while watching a good movie without having to worry about what other people might say
• the coolest, sweetest songs and poems have been writen about us
• we can wear dresses without getting really weird looks from people
• girls have nicer handwriting than guys
• we have an excuse to be kikay
• we love pink
• we love dressing up
• we love shopping
• we love makeovers
• girls rule

*as of now...i could only think of these things,you can add more.
*subject to change without prior notice.

the other side of spiderman

a tribute

her name is melody.she's a friend and a cousin rolled into one.she passed away at 1am,on the 20th of august.breast cancer is the culprit.it's so sad to think that she died at an early age.she is only 23 and there are still a lot of things ahead of her.i know there is a reason for everything.we've been classmates since grade school... then high school and with RS 35 in college.the last time i spoke to her was last 16july2005 when i went home for the fiesta.who would think that she'll die early.she was a healthy lass.very athletic and always on the go.i could never imagine her to be so weak.i only have good things and good memories of her.she was always there to cheer me up.she knows it when i don't like something or someone.she understands what i mean when i raise my eyebrow or whenever i roll my eyes.she was my movie partner and lunch partner in college.she knows me inside and out.she never left me behind and she was always on my side.she was a faithful friend.she is brave and she's never afraid to say what she thinks.she is a strong person.she defends me from the wicked witch.hehe.she saves me from mopping the floor.hehe.she would then tell me to just wipe the blackboard because it was a lot easier.she was my ka-chika when our boring teacher starts her discussion.we talk like there's no tomorrow.she is always fun to be with.she laughs whenever i send her a couple of quotes.she was a matchmaker though not a succesful matchmaker for me. she knows who my longtime crush is.she was my mathematics savior (a.k.a. kopyahanan sa assignment sa math) when i'm not sure of my answers.she was my debate partner in high school.she appreciates and praises me.she laughs with me over the corny jokes and the whole likos thingy.i could be myself when i'm with her.we never fought.we agree on many things and we're both ruled by taurus.she is on the same wavelength as i am.we simply connect and we are friends.i'm glad i've known her.

ding...thanks for everything.

last words

i heard mass last 16july and since i was late,standing position ang drama sa likod.(den,dili katingalahan bah?)then melody came and we had a very short chat.this was our last conversation.(some statements are rephased)

melody: hoi...ikaw gyud lagi,tagnaan gyud nako bisag nakatalikod.

me: sez,ikaw man diay nah.as usual late nasad.hehe.dawbi?

melody: diyaa...arte lang gyud gihapon ka.

me: bwahaha...tanawa gani.lain?.match-match ra ba.hehe.

melody: dili oi.wa gyud ka nagbag-o.nya?nakauyab naka?

me: ngee...pastilan sa tanan pangutana kana pa jud.way kwenta.

melody: huh?mao diay gihapon...

me: ay,sus.don't worry.ipa-ila-ila tka if naa.

melody:gikan baya ko ila candy gahapon and wala man siya kay nagsimba.adto unta ko inyo kay ingon mam elaine niuli ka.

me: ay...sez sayang.adto unta ka kay nihapit ra ba sad nesly gahapon sa hapon.i dunno asa ang uban.la pud gana lakaw2.basin nagsimba sila karon.

melody: nah...naulaw ko kay basin daghan tao sa inyo.

me: unsay kaulawan oi nga kami-kami ra man sa hauz.sila manang naa man sad.taas-taas unta ato chika.wa na jud ta kita.wa na ta tanaw sine.remember?

melody: sige diay gyapon ka tanaw sine?

me: usahay nalang if restday.adto balay huh lunch.ayaw pag-ulaw2 oi.kasab-an ta man ka.bwahaha.ma-crazy sad ko.

melody: tanawon lang oi kay uban man mi mama.

me: basta...pagtext lang,paabuton tka.
dawbi..ikaw?minyounon man daw ka?haha...mzta?

melody: gikan baya ko hospital.

me: owh..?kay?

melody: nasakit baya ko.

me: ngano?

melody:leukemia and anemia lagi.

me: huh?owh...likos gyud.tungka pud ka karon.binuang...ayaw'g luya-luya diha.sayang ang pagka-athlete.(then we laughed)runner baya ka and kapoy2 na nuon ka.unsay connection?asa naman imo pagkatigas.bitaw,tarong bah...

melody: lagi...giabunohan ko dugo and first week of july ko nakagawas. tanawa gani ako kamot,luspad.

me: bitaw noh...hala oi...ngano man? unya?

melody: istorya nata sunod kay misa pa and maglingkod ko.naglain ako ginhawa.

me: cge...kay gitan-aw nata ni father.siwitan daw kaayo ta.special mention gani ta ron na.haha.chika-chika pa unta ta kay daghan ko chika.hala oi paglingkod na didto kay dili ra ba ko kadaog nimo.kulbaan man sad ta nimo.gitawag naka imo mama.sige... text-text lang.diri ra ko sa ako fave spot.haha..

melody: ganahan gyud ka diha duh?lingkod sa ko ha.chai...anhi sa ko.

that was it....

the very last time i saw her was when she smiled when i pass by her during the offering.i didnt see her after the mass because there were too many people and she didnt come at lunchtime. she just texted me that she can't make it because she doesn't feel well.

chicken

the very first person who informed me that melody passed away was marvin.he was melody's friend in college who eventually became my friend thru her.he was one of our lunch partners.and then lawrence texted me with the same news.i felt bad and sad at the same time.and then the paranoia begins...know why? blame it to my Phasmophobia(fear of ghosts).it may be funny but it's true.call me CHICKEN,i don't care.i might die if i see a ghost.honest!
i went home after work and there are so many thoughts playing in my mind.i bought food from a nearby eatery and when i reached home...i didn't know what to do.i had mixed emotions.i don't want to go upstairs because i was afraid.what will i do?my water is in my room and i can't eat without water and my stomach is loging for food.good thing i had my pineapple juice in the ref.it saved me.but it didn't end there.it took me almost an hour to lift my feet and finally go upstairs to catch some sleep.i was like a robber.lingi dinhi,lingi didto.i didn't sleep well because i would wake up in the middle of my sleep thinking that somebody's watching over me.my God,i was so praning.plus there were people who kept on texting me that melody's gonna visit me.shucks...it scared me to death.i didn't know how many times i prayed and i've also recited the saint's names.my goodness...this is what i hate most whenever someone close to me dies.it's such a pain in the ass.i know everything happens for a certain reason and it is hard to lose someone.i've always said that i hate goodbyes.but i can't help it but be afraid..be very afraid of the ghost.nginiig ito.

coldplay

i really wanna add this on my template but it was a total mess when i tried adding it.might as well post it.

Video code provided by Music Video Codes

when boredom strikes...

...you'll end up answering surveys.i don't have anything to do now.it's my restday and i don't wanna go home yet.i'm just waiting for the mall to open this morning.here goes the surveys:


Top three:

three names you go by:
1. nikki
2. nikai
3. tiff

three screen names you have had:
1. shania
2. elle
3. nikkiqs

three physical things you like about yourself:
1. eyes
2. mole(is that counted?)
3. eyelashes

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. legs
2. feet
3. knees

three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. ..nothing else
3. ..nothing more!

three things that scare you:
1. ghost
2. losing one of my senses
3. natural calamities (I'll add one:giving birth)

three of your favorite smell:
1. I love the smell of a lighted match.
2. I love the smell of RL romance.
3. I love the smell of clinique happy.

three of your everyday essentials:
1. money
2. oil control film
3. facial wash

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. eyes
2. kalbo
3. nose

three of your favorite hobbies:
1. malling
2. surfing the net
3. malling

three things you want to do really badly now:
1. travel
2. eat good food
3. a good rest

three careers you're considering :
1. chef
2. magazine editor-in-chief
3. advertising or interior designing

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. paris
2. Orlando(Disneyland)
3. italy three names you like:
1. Gustavo
2. Vladimir
3. Sullivan
(astig!)

three things you want to do before you die:
1. visit paris(I just love this place.i don't know what's in store for me here but I'm looking forward to it)
2. vacation at amanpulo resort.
3. establish a family of my own.

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. i love the color pink and I adore elle woods.
2. daydreamer
3. sucker for feel-good movies

three frequently visited sites
1. http://www.photobucket.com or http://www.flickr.com
2. http://expedia.com
3. http://www.blogger.com

three Foods
1. Lechon
2. Sunny side-up
3. Jollibee

three Drinks
1. Water
2. Coke
3. Iced Tea

three Snacks
1. French Baker's lasagna 2. shawarma
3. Red Ribbon chocolate cake and palabok

three Indoor activities
1. Blogging
2. watching movies
3. scrapbooking

what?

1. WHAT DATE IS IT?
* August 3, 2005
2. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP?
*9:10 PM
3. DID YOU GO SOMEWHERE?
* Yes, work.
4. WHAT DID YOU DO THERE?
* Work and take calls.
5. HOW OLD ARE YOU?
* 23
6. ARE YOU MATURE OR IMMATURE?
* A little bit of both.
7. WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR MOM & DAD?
* Mommy & Daddy
8. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
*No, we're seven.
9. WHEN ARE YOU GOING SHOPPING?
*I dunno know.maybe if I see something I really like.best things come as a surprise.
10. WHATS THE MOST FLATTERING COMPLIMENT YOU EVER GOT?
*That I'm angel.
11. ONLY GIRL/BOY IN THE FAMILY?
* No
12. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET REGINE VELASQUEZ?
* No.
13. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS ARE?
* Some are working, some are still in school.
14. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TALKED TO YOUR BESTFRIEND?
*as in talk?can't remember the exact date.that was months ago.
15. YOU THINK SHE/HE NEEDS YOU NOW?
*kinda.
16. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
* A trip for to amanpulo or to paris.
17. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?
* a digicam
18. IF YOU WERE TO BUY A CAR, WHICH CAR WOULD IT BE?
* A top down BMW.
19. A DUET WITH HEART EVANGELISTA?
* no way. but if it's a shopping spree, i'll absolutely agree.
20. DO YOU WEAR MAKE-UP?
* No.
21. WHAT LIP BALM DO YOU USE?
* Body Shop's Born Lippy (strawberry)
22. WOULD YOU GET A TATOO?WHAT KIND?
* No.i can't think of any.
23. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOMEWORK?
*No.
24. MSN OR YAHOO?
* yahoo.
25. ANY SONG THAT YOU'RE LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
* none.
26. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SPELLS?
* No.
27. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO NOW?
* ayala center.
28. WHY DID YOU ANSWER THIS?
* Because I have nothing to do and nothing to post in my blog today.

1 Saturday Nights: work.
2 Chocolates: cadbury, toblerone, crunch
3 My Pet: I'm not a pet lover.
4 My bed: what bed? hahaha.. nobody sleeps on my bed.i sleep on the floor coz it's dark and the bed could cover the rays of the sun.working on graveyard shifts makes you allergic to the sun and I try to avoid them.it's such a headache..
5 Rainy Days: great during restdays coz u get to enjoy sleep well and the surrounding is cool.it�s a time to show-off your jacket.
6 Going to school: fun.
7 Friendster: human locator; it connects people.
8 Myself: bored and sleepy.tick-tock-tick-tock
9 Coffee: frap.
10 Coke: i worship it.. hehehe
11 Summer: i love summer.i love the sun,the sand and the beach.
12 My PC : no PC. I'm using the company's computer.
13 Movies :feel-good movies are the best.
14 Commuting: is something i grew up with...trisikad,jeepney,bus,taxi etc.name it.
15 High School: was fun; crushes;kilig factor;petty quarrels;best memories;friends
16 Chewing gums: ah...baggle gum.hehe.love chewing gums.
17 Math:i fear math
18 USA: we follow their timezone and cater to customers from USA.
19 My Hometown: Talisayan.

paula's blog

i love bloghopping because i get to read other blogger's minds.one of my fave bloggers is *hipstah*. she is paula peralejo.i like her more as a blogger than a star.she never hesitates to right anything and i love her posts.two of my fave articles on her blog are people who are taken and unrequited love.read on:

PEOPLE WHO ARE TAKEN

are more interesting most of the time, right? And I've been battling whether it's because they're really interesting, or it's a thrill for them to take notice of us.

Recently, I heard from a friend that she got to talk to her "one-who-got-away" and they finally admitted how much they feel for each other. Problem is...he's already married.

But is it a problem, really? Or just a problem created by the society?

When I was younger, and very much trapped in the dictates of the Society, I would carelessly call those who become causes of breakups sluts, whores. See how much bias there is? What do you call guys who cause breakups? Nothing. Nada.

But now that I'm older, and more exposed to others' experiences, I have come to realize that it's not easy to be the "cause". Nobody wants to be called a slut, or whore, after all. In most cases, these people are the ones those in a relationship meet too late, or the ones they call their unfinished business.

And these "causes" have feelings, too. Name-calling to swallow, loved ones to sacrifice. But love is just so powerful it allows them to hold on. Hold on to a feeling they're not sure will be reciprocated by the other.

It's so easy to think negative of them, but until you've experienced it yourself, or someone close to you experiences it, you can never really understand the situation. You'll never understand how hard it is to resist temptation even though you do not intend to hurt others. How hard it is to stop communication long after you should have. How hard it is not to think of that special someone, and how happy you guys would have been.

Sure we may argue here that the taken is stupid if he left an unfinished business. But it's not that easy, really. Sometimes, they have to be practical. Sometimes, they have to play it safe. But practicality and love are not on the same level. That person may be selfish for pursuing his/her feelings towards someone who's not his current partner, but isn't it human nature to be weak? We are all weak at certain times, and his/her only fault is that s/he gave in to a weakness considered evil by most people.

This post is not intended to make you cheat on your partners, or pursue those who are already taken. It's only my way of showing the other side of the coin. My way of sharing my realization that cheating doesn't always mean evil. Bad, yes, but sometimes with considerable reasons.

Life is really uncertain. Sometimes, we think we are so in love with somebody and later on find out that we're in love with someone else. And commitment and convenience are the very reasons why it's hard for us to let go.

It's true we have a price we have to pay for every decision we make. It's true we have to learn how to control ourselves and practice the art of being just. But when it comes to feelings, to strong emotions, is there such a thing as being FAIR?

UNREQUITED LOVE:

When we fall in love, we fall real hard. We do anything to win our loved one's heart. We accept the pain and smile even though we're dying inside. We wish, we hope, we long, we wait. But sometimes the wait it too long that we begin to wonder if our time is worth the wait, or if there's really something to wait for to begin with. And then it hits us.

While the braver and luckier ones have their whole lives to spend with the ones they truly love, there are those whose relationships that once worked out well just fail. And unfortunate as that may sound, they are still to be considered lucky, for while their relationships have turned sour, at least they were able to feel it, to be in it. Even more unfortunate are those who wait, wait, wait, and wait, yet their stories never start.

These people end up wondering what could have been had they done the other choice, and then they start asking, in the first place, what was the other choice that could equally make them happy? Was there any, really?

Sometimes, things are just exactly the way it seems. There's nothing more than his/her glowing eyes staring at you, there's nothing more than his/her hand holding you, there's nothing more than his/her hug giving you comfort, there's nothing more than his/her sweet words consoling you. Really, there's nothing greater than friendship that s/he can offer.

Yet you decide to go on believing that a miracle will happen. You decide to daydream until your face can no longer hold your plastered smile, then you snap back to the real world and as if you were back to step one, you can hardly accept the truth. You cannot gracefully admit that s/he's not yours, and may never be. You insist that you have chemistry. You firmly believe that you can only feel that strongly for him/her and just the same, s/he will never find a greater relationship with anyone but you.

But sometimes, fate can be harsh. So many people have said it's a matter of our choice. So many people have claimed that we can reverse our fate. But hasn't it also been evident that it's not always the case? Hasn't it been proven that sometimes, we have no choice, or rather, what we have are unrealistic choices?

We do not really have to argue with the fact that sometimes, no matter how much you try to make things happen, no matter how many chances you try to grab, no matter how much you try to win, things will not be the way you want them to. Not because you are wrong for wishing, hoping, longing and waiting, but because in reality, it's only you making the story, trying to end it happily. In reality, you're the only one playing the game, hoping s/he would join someday.

And in reality, there was never really someone else in your life, but your own mind playing a prank you have yet to accept.