wishful thinker-bell

it's very possible for a girl and a boy to be friends.no benefits.no strings attached.no malice.just friends. but if we talk about a boy-and-girl relationship or something to that effect,it's a completely different story.and it makes me deviate myself from that.and youl'll ask WHY.come on,who wouldn't want to fall in love?i very much welcome the idea but i can't control myself from being restless and i have a million and one questions playing on my mind whenever this topic is tackled.expect me to act this way as a first timer.it's like going to the battle unprepared.i dunno how it's like to be there.i know i can never be ready.love comes unexpectedly and it leaves even before we notice it.but the challenge is there...i would say i've lived my life independently.i don't care where i go,where i eat and what time i go home.i'm afraid that there might be a lot of restrictions and what-nots.i've lived my life for 23 years with the theme: ME,ME and ME.it's the dependency on valuing my individuality.but i know somewhere along the way, someone is meant to walk with me hand in hand .

restrictions and what-nots?if i'll continue to think this way and let myself be swallowed by all these fears then i will not learn which will let me continue hiding from my own shelter and would deprive myself from loving.(char!) how hard it is to go through life and forever be wishfully thinking about how it's like to be in love,be loved,get hurt and learn and love again.i'm taking it from here...

so now i say that 23years is long enough for me to build my walls and i know from the very start that someone is bound to break it into pieces.so,why not take the plunge? i'm not saying that i'm ready because it already got me off-guarded.

so there,i rest my case in God's hands.

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